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ABOUT DOMESTIC ABUSE

Myths

• Domestic violence only occurs in a small percentage of relationships.
Estimates report that domestic violence occurs in 1/4 to 1/3 of all intimate relationships. This applies to heterosexual as well as same-sex relationships.
• Women batter men too.
Although this is true, in 95% of heterosexual domestic violence cases, men are abusive toward women.
• Battered women are masochistic/crazy/weak/enjoy being abused.
This places the burden of guilt for being beaten on the survivor, and fails to hold batterers accountable for their choice to be violent to their partners. No one enjoys being abused, regardless of how much they may love their partner.
• Middle and upper class women do not get battered as frequently as poor women.
Domestic violence occurs in all socio-economical levels. Because women with money usually have more access to resources, poorer women tend to utilize community agencies, and are therefore more visible.
• Women of color and immigrant women are battered more often than white women.
Again, domestic violence occurs across the board in all communities regardless of race, age, nationality, sexual orientation, economic status, education, etc.
• Batterers are violent in all their relationships. Batterers "lose control" and become violent.
Batterers choose to be violent toward their partners in ways they would never consider treating other people. Domestic violence is about batterers using their control, not losing their control. Their actions are very deliberate.
• Alcohol/Drugs cause battering behavior.
Although many abusive partners also abuse alcohol and/or drugs, this is not the underlying cause of the battering. Many batterers use alcohol/drugs as an excuse to explain their violence.
• Batterers also beat their children.
Not all batterers are also physically abusive to their children. However, all children living in a home with domestic violence experience emotional and psychological abuse when one parent is violent towards the other.
• Once a battered woman, always a battered woman.
While some battered women have been in more than one abusive relationship, women who receive domestic violence services are the least likely to enter another abusive relationship.